A Few Days Ago in a Hospital Not So Far, Far Away….

Stone Wars

Episode I

THE PAINFUL PENIS

Turmoil has engulfed the

Pubic Republic. The taxation

of trade routes to outlying toilet

bowls is in dispute.

Hoping to resolve the matter

with a blockade of deadly

Kidney Stones, the greedy NaCl

Federation has stopped all

shipping to the small Bladder

of Kevonica.

While the Congress of the

Republic endlessly debates

this alarming chain of events,

the Supreme Dick has

secretly dispatched two Jedi

Antibodies, the guardians of

peace and harmony in the

Republic, to settle the conflict....

Episode II

ATTACK OF THE STONES

There is unrest in the Pubic

Senate. Several thousand liters

of fluids have declared their

intentions to leave the Republic.

This separatist movement,

under the leadership of the

mysterious Count Cappuccino, has

made it difficult for the limited

number of Jedi Antibodies to

maintain peace and order in the

Republic.

Senator Pia Alotta, the former

Queen of Kevonica, is returning

to the Pubic Senate to vote

on the critical issue of creating

a CATHETER OF THE REPUBLIC

to assist the overwhelmed

Jedi....

Episode III

RISE THE STONE

Surgery! The Republic is crumbling

under attacks by the ruthless

Surgeon, Count Sadeghi.

There are heroes on both sides.

Pain is everywhere.

In a stunning move, the

fiendish droid leader, General

Ureteroscopy, has swept into the

Republic capital and kidnapped

Chancellor Dick, leader of

the Pubic Senate.

As the Separatist Scope Army

attempts to flee the besieged

capital with their valuable

hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a

desperate mission to rescue the

captive Chancellor....

Episode IV

A NEW SCOPE

It is a period of civil war.

Rebel Oxycodones, striking

from a hidden base, have won

their first victory against

the evil Pubic Empire.

During the battle, Rebel

spies managed to steal secret

plans to the Empire's

ultimate weapon, the Shock Wave

Lithotripsy, an armored space

station with enough power to

destroy an entire stone.

Pursued by the Empire's

sinister agents, Princess

Urethra races home aboard her

starship, custodian of the

stolen plans that can save her

people and restore

the Old Republic....

Episode V

THE PAIN STRIKES BACK

It is a dark time for the

Body. Although the Shock Wave

Lithotripsy has been destroyed,

Imperial troops have driven the

Rebel forces from their hidden

base and pursued them across

the body.

Evading the dreaded Imperial

X-Ray, a group of freedom

fighters led by Flute Urinal

has established a new secret

base in the remote Ureter

of Kevonica.

The evil lord Darth Bladder,

obsessed with finding young

Urinal, has dispatched

thousands of remote probes into

the far reaches of the flesh....

Episode VI

RETURN OF THE SCOPE

Flute Urinal has returned to

his home Kidney in

an attempt to rescue his

friend Hard Crystal from the

clutches of the vile gangster

Java the Starbucks.

Little does Flute know that the

PUBIC EMPIRE has secretly

begun construction on a new

armored space station even

more powerful than the first

dreaded Shock Wave

Llithotripsy.

When completed, this ultimate

weapon will spell certain doom

for the small stone struggling

to restore freedom

to the Body….